Adventures and thinkings and other things
Hey a blood moon’s out


I’ve been much less angsty and philosophical, so there’s less for me to really post about. The ongoing struggle for me right now is waiting to get my license back again. I don’t know why I have to wait so long between appointments. I should have had it back by now if the hospital didn’t have problems with their EEG department. Despite the three month delay in getting the results, my neurologist wants to wait another three months for me to do a blood test and then give me my license back. It feels very likely for something else to go wrong during the wait times. Assuming all goes well I’ll probably have to wait for the DMV to do its shit and repair the car. It’s a demotivating situation, having to rely on my family to get my places and also discouraging me from working over the summer.

Beat Phantom Hourglass and Wind Waker a while ago. Currently on Spirit Tracks for the DS and got to the Dark World on ALTTP, the same part I left off as a kid. I let that sit there for a month or two until I recently got around to beating the first dungeon.

Class scheduling for ECE students here sucks. There are very few sections for each class and the times are not very convenient much of the time. I had mostly waitlisted classes until the end of the add/drop period, in which I managed to get 15 units. I should study more.

Watched the entirety of Yugioh Abridged. Great stuff. It’s too bad I ran out of episodes to watch. King of games, bitch!

A few friends and I made a Dota team and played in CEVO for a little while. Turns out we don’t really have the time or commitment to be really really good at this game. But we’re all right.

I recently watched How To Train Your Dragon. Very good movie. Amazing score. I’m going to indulge myself into its related media and shows over the next few weeks, including listening to the soundtrack on Spotify. I’d like to produce and score an animated short film some time in my life.

Watched Captain America and Rio 2 in theaters. I’m not a huge fan of Marvel heroes but I enjoy the Marvel movies. I enjoyed Rio 2 as well, even though it might be aimed at a younger audience.

I guess that’s it for now.

Well there’s this one girl in one of my classes I find myself attracted to, but I can’t figure out how to say “Hi.”


This is where everything came together…

In April 2013, after 2 years of rejection over my script for Animal Crackers from all studios, I asked my friends Jaime Maestro and Nathalie Martinez from Frameover Studios to help me put together a short that would help people see what I had in mind for the film.

Though I had NO budget, they said that they believed in the project…and more so… believed in me.

I then set out to write a SCRIPT for this. I wanted something AMAZING. Something powerful. Something that told the WHOLE STORY.

I wrote an elaborate 9 page script that had all of the elements of the film crammed into one action-packed trailer.

I’m pretty sure Jaime printed the 9 pages out JUST so he could call me on Skype so I can hear him CRUMBLE it up and throw it in the trash.

"We are doing this for free" he explained "You need to think smaller"

Okay. Back to the drawing board.

I wrote another script. Then another. And 5 more.

Still too elaborate.

Finally, Jaime sent me a link.

The genius of Pixar. A single character. A single room.

But you get it.

The rest was easy. I had the script done that night.

I next called my friend Tony Bancroft. Tony and I had worked on some projects together in the past, and he and I had always talked about directing a film together. Tony was one of the lead animators on Lion King and Beauty and the Beast as well as co-director of Mulan.

Next, I asked my friend Jamie Thomason if he could help me round up some talent for voices. Jamie also has been a long time friend who also happens to be one of the premiere voice directors in animation.

Jamie knew exactly who to call for this. Tara Strong (Harley Quinn from Batman the Animated Series) and James Arnold Taylor (Obi Wan Kenobi from Clone Wars).

Jamie had set up a meeting with James and my family one year in Disney World (During Star Wars Weekend) and my boys THRILLED at the chance to “meet Obi Wan”. James couldn’t have been nicer and I was so happy to work with him.

James also brought his daughter, Lydia, to do AMAZING work for Mackenzie (Adorable).

While Jamie Thomason had set up auditions with several actors for me to choose from… we always knew we wanted Tara and James.

Tim Hodge (Mulan/Brother Bear) came on to help out with story. We would hang out at Panera Bread and discuss the boards and he would doodle notes and such.

It all took place in just 6 weeks. SIX WEEKS.

Friends, family, left over parts from unused projects. Everyone joining in to help me see my vision through.

It’s not perfect. But it works.

I wasn’t able to give any real notes on animation. Everything you see is is FIRST PASS animation done in Spain.

I’ve always said this is 50% of the quality the film would be.

But it works. It got us a studio deal. It got us our investors. And we’re making a movie.

Because my friends believed in me.

We’re making a movie. Can you believe that?


Done, done, and done. Ratchet now has a wrench! The main ingredients here are wooden dowel, scrap plastic, epoxy putty, SuperSculpey and spray paint/gloss. This was a really great build and I’m rather happy with how it came out. Special thanks to my boyfriend and friend for helping me with some parts :D

I would like to see some more original creations posted on here :3 like in addition to your models! perhaps short stories you dream up, songs you put together, etc. Maybe focusing on those things will give you something to strive for again.

I’ve like to create more content, but it would have to take time out of school and stuff.

What I’ve been up to lately


Eat, sleep, class, homework, Dota sums up most of my day. I feel like I’m busy enough with classes that I don’t really need a job but some income would be nice. (Or I just don’t manage my time well enough that having a job would be feasible for me.)

In December I beat A Link Between Worlds in two days and being a fan of The Legend of Zelda, enjoyed the entire thing. I cannot stop thinking about the music, much of which are remasters of the soundtrack from A Link to the Past. I remember messing around a lot in ALttP as a kid and after getting to the Dark World, had no idea what to do. So I never beat it. ALBW kept the map mostly intact, and improved on every ALttP was, and adds a fair bit of nostalgia as well.

With that, I’ve been looking up the soundtrack of ALBW, comparing it to ALttP, and also listened to pats of the 25th Anniversary Orchestra CD over and over. I’ve also decided to try and complete more Zelda games, starting with Wind Waker and ALttP. Emulators are awesome.

My birthday was yesterday. Can’t say I’m really thrilled to be older. Can’t celebrate it just yet due to not being home and stuff. So it just felt like another boring day for me. We’ll probably do something this weekend.

A Sly Cooper movie was announced, made by the same people doing the Ratchet and Clank movie, which I’ve been following the development of through Twitter. I’m not as hyped for it as I haven’t played the Sly series, but I also hope it turns out good as well.

I’m actually now thinking of getting the HD collection for Sly Cooper, although I have already built up a decent backlog of games. I still need to complete Jak 3 as well. I regret having missed out on playing these games during their time. I’m pretty sure we still have the old consoles and games somewhere in the house. I should search the attic one day.

I still want to learn the 3D modeling stuff, I just need the time and resources for it.

Dota released a big patch today too. So that’ll soak up my time too.

Not crazy

11/10 - 11/11/2013 ~12:00 AM

Perhaps I imagine things to get away from reality. Life can be boring. We journey through years of education to gain knowledge to get jobs to get money to be happy.

We make stories to live different lives. You only live one life, but with books, films, games (that are story driven and not shit), you can live multiple.

Some lonely nights I get feelings of depression, and when it happens, I lie down and make a plot. Use my favorite video game characters, or attempt to make my own. Then I go back to doing whatever I was doing. I guess it keeps me content for the moment.

But why do I get these feelings of depression in the first place? Keeping to myself all these years in school, I don’t feel like I’ve had a really close friend that connects with me. Perhaps I don’t put effort into maintaining relationships, or no one cares enough about me to chat. The closest friend I have is a friend I met online I talk to nearly every day over Skype.

Then again, how do I find someone like me? A socially awkward gamer-musician also interested in composing, voice acting and game development. Actually, the friend I mentioned - he’s pretty close to that. And I’m happy to have him.

Back to the first question. I noticed last year, after losing feelings of my high school crush, there was some kind of void there. Throughout high school I was striving for this goal to have her and with that gone I had nothing to reach for. Then I told myself it wouldn’t have worked out well anyway. Yeah a girlfriend would be nice, although I feel like I’ve said that already.

I guess I have some bigger dreams now. Learn programming languages, modeling, voice acting, drawing.  Make my own indie game. Make a 3D animated short with silent characters. Write a novel. Record songs.

Or just secure a good job at an engineering firm and make loads of money that way.

I’ll just go ahead and write this down

10/09/2013 2 AM

As a kid I would like to make stories as I go to sleep and continue them every night, and this is something I still do. One interesting one I remember involved me inventing a VR gaming system. You would be able to fight in a battlefield within the laws of a certain game. I imagined this as being a dome being able to be quickly set up over a large area, even over city blocks. You would be able to do things a character would normally do. If you die, you don’t actually die, but sit out of play.

In one variation of my little story would be able to conjure weapons and equipment at will while within a dome, balanced by some points system, and the amount of points you have would be determined by your level, like an RPG.

So in this little plot, time travel is invented, my future self gets captured somehow and these guys go to the present to capture me. When I doze off in class (IRL), I would imagine armed guys storming into the room looking for me. I figure out I can conjure weapons, get a tranquilizer gun, knock the guys out, try to find out what’s going on. As I take out everyone, the dome dissipates, and I’m left with a message from my future self.

I don’t exactly remember where I went from there. Something about my future self encoding the system with our DNA so that I can be overpowered.  Then the bad guys want my present self to unlock the device to take over the world or something.

Nowadays I’m imagining fan fiction for Ratchet as well as another plot where he is involved in giving me superpowers. I suppose it’s what I do rather than talk to people, among other things.

I really do love Ratchet. Can’t wait to play Into the Nexus.

Gotta use that free time wisely

Sept. 21, 2013 ~12:00 AM

imageSo here’s Ratchet again.Rough model and textures. Spent way too much time on this. In the process of rigging, which I’m getting the hang of. Seems to be pretty good to me, still very unpolished for industry standards.

The very ambitious goal for this is to make a custom hero for Dota 2. Mods are not officially supported yet but the tools are there to make them. It’s rather frustrating trying to find good information on how to use 3DS Max, for free at least. At least it was, until I remembered the one method everyone uses to get free stuff.

Been also working with C++. Haven’t gotten far though. I believe I’ll have to learn it anyway but a head start is nice.

Past few months I’ve been worrying about getting a room on campus since I still can’t drive. Well I got a room now, right before school starts. Still gotta worry about money though, and getting a job at some point.

One thing I’ve been pondering is that I may have some social anxiety. I don’t use my phone much to call or text and one of the more irrational reasons I have for that is because I’m afraid someone’s number might have changed since I’ve last called. Then again, I don’t have many friends to call. I even have a hard time messaging those I’m not super close with. With girls I would have to play out a complete scenario in my head and also take minutes coming up with a response. I shouldn’t be afraid anymore, but I am, and it’s going to ruin me if I don’t deal with it.


These are some old pictures I drew of Ratchet, Clank, and Talwyn! :) I’ll probably draw more.


I’m still a beginner.image

It’s been a long summer

8/05/2013 12:45 AM

Been at home most of the time, just using most of my time on the computer. Dota 2 is a fun game. Also hyping The International.

It’ll still be a while before I can drive again. I’ve taken the time off my games to clean the house and backyard, and learn 3DS Max. Maybe I will actually finish modeling, texturing, rigging, and animating by the time school starts. I also have tried learning C++ as well, just can’t find the motivation to read the book.

Having too much stuff is a problem, not for many but at least for this household. I’ve managed to organize the alley where we put all our empty bottles and cans and found a bunch of wood and junk to put in one spot. My mom then decided to hire Mexicans (literally, she does this every few months) to move stuff and install a cabinet in the garage. So now the place I just organized is a mess again. Awesome.

Whatever effort I actually put into cleaning the backyard doesn’t amount to much because there’s so much shit out there. It’s not necessarily my fault we have all this shit, it’s mom’s. Why can’t we just throw away things. Or just stop buying things we already have? The cabinets are filled to the brim with canned items; it wouldn’t surprise me if half the stuff is inedible.

I wish I could go out more, although I don’t have the friends to really go out with me. But I understand that I’m huge drag to have around in social situations. I’d appreciate having friends that really care for me, even if I can’t really show the same.

Having a job would be nice, although the not being able to drive thing is kinda hindering that.

6/14/2013 2:30 AM

Well first year of college is done. Switched to computer engineering near the beginning of spring and I’ve yet to take any core classes. The number of sections for the classes I need are rather few.

Went through the year with occasional feelings of loneliness and depression, despite making a few dorm friends. Still never developed to be a really social person, so some trends I noticed with my interaction with people kinda stuck.

I was actually planning to fit a long story of my high school crush here but now I don’t feel the need. Some other time.

Loneliness and Happiness

5/31/2013 2 AM

Roughly every night before I sleep I start contemplating that I should talk to friends. More specifically, girls I know and I’d like to date. I always think about opening up a chat with someone on Facebook but I can never bring myself to chat with someone during the day. Mostly because I’m doing other stuff and I would rather do this other stuff than to socialize.

Before sleeping, I’m generally out of energy to do much else and I start to dream up some conversations I’d have with some people. With this, comes a feeling of unhappiness. I enjoy myself during the day. Go to class, do work, play games. I’m not sure if I am really happy though.

Perhaps the one thing I need in life is a girlfriend. But I’ve read that you won’t be happy in a relationship if you aren’t happy alone. Maybe that’s true. I just can’t see myself having a decent relationship with most people. Won’t know for sure though.

What would make me happy? Making sure I have a secure job so I can be financially independent? Having a better social life? Being able to make music?

I have my fun doing whatever it is I do. Won’t mind a life less frightening though.

Some more stills. Added some more to the other post.

Probably the most unexpected thing in my life


Saturday, April 27th, I was attending SoCal LANfest which was being held at my school and while playing Company of Heroes I suffered a seizure. I went unconscious and woke up with paramedics putting me on a stretcher, and sending me on an ambulance.

I don’t recall any shaking, but the paramedics told me I had a seizure. My head was hurting like hell and throughout the ambulance ride and I was screaming.

At the hospital, I was given an X-ray, a CAT scan, and blood tests. At this point I could only think of the cost of any unnecessary tests, As far as I know the tests didn’t find anything. My brother picked me up and took me back to school.

I figured my stuff was still at the event. I asked a friend to escort me there. They had all my stuff and were glad that I’m fine. They gave me a bag of stuff “for not dying.” Pretty sweet.

The bag included some shirts, a couple mousepads, a laptop cooler, an inflatable hammer, two canteens, two decks of cards, a cape, two lanyards (Valve and Gigabyte), a bottle opener

As for what caused the seizure, I’m in the process of figuring out